Happy Belated New Year!

8 Jan

Happy_New_Year_2015

So I’m over a week late with this post. But you know. I’ve never been one for punctuality. So here goes. Happy New Year friends! I hope 2015 moves slowly enough for you to savor every glorious minute of it but fast enough for you to enjoy the ride! But really. Slower would be great. Because HOW is it 2015 already?

But, since it IS a new year, I’m going to take this opportunity to write myself a little set of resolutions, a casual pep talk of sorts for the upcoming year. Which I’m hoping by writing it down, means that I will actually follow through on it. And because I’ve loved lists since before they were a thing, here is my first of 2015. #thursdaylistday Is that a thing? Can I make it a thing? MAKING IT A THIIIIING!  (Please tell me you read that last sentence in Oprah voice?).

2015 Positive Proclamations in hopes of a more engaged year!

1. Be more present. Soak in the smells, the colors, the feelings. Soak is all in. Because you don’t get those moments back, much as you’d like to. So use the moments, be IN the moments and try to enjoy your dang self.

2. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are not perfect. You are never going to be perfect. And if you were, you’d be boring. So let those last 5 pounds go. Breathe your way through tough situations. And try to focus on the positive aspects of your life, your appearance and your personality. You are uniquely you, and you shouldn’t be any other way. Channel yourself some Elsa and LET. IT. GO.

3. Try to be more on time. Try. People are counting on you. And you know that you can be better about your time. Don’t waste it. Don’t waste theirs. But when that doesn’t work, see number 2! You tried! High five!

4. Be more creative. You love to craft. Let’s do that more! You love furniture refinishing. Do more of that! You used to love to act … lets try to do more of that. More things you love. More of the time. Let’s create and craft all the things in 2015!

5. Move more. You know that body that you’re not being so hard on? Treat it right, too. Move it more. It feels good, it gives you endorphins and you know what? You just might lose those 5 pounds you’ve been harping on. But if you don’t, lets go on back to number two and let it go.

6. Eat less junk.  Some junk … totally necessary! But try to eat a little less of it. That’s treating yourself right, too! You deserve it. Treat yo self to some greens. And then maybe later, eat that sundae. Just not everyday.

7. Cook more. Try new recipes. Go out less. Spend less on dining out. All good things. And you like to cook! Remember that when you come home from work tired. Those new recipes will get you excited. SPOILER ALERT: I’m already kicking this proclamation’s rear. It’s only been a week and I’ve already tried 4 new recipes! And I see no sign of stopping.

8. Blog more! Technically an extension of #4, but I’m going to try to focus more on using this as an outlet for my writing and my crafting.  Hoping I can stay true to it. Fingers crossed and laptops out!

9. Put down that phone! Remember being present? Our first objective? THIS will help. Put it down. Put it away. Put it anywhere else. Will the world end if you don’t check Instagram and Facebook one more time? Nope, it won’t. And you might have time to do some other productive things.

10. Read. Use your brain a little. Step away from the screens. Read a dang book. Cookbooks only sort of count. Try non-fiction again. Try it until you can actually enjoy reading a full book that is non-fiction. Your brain and your vocabulary will thank you.

11. Take care of your skin. Wash your face every night. Moisturize daily. Maybe twice a day. Night creams? Lets find a good one. Take off your dang makeup at the end of the day. You don’t need to be made up to sleep. Let’s treat that skin right, it’s easier to keep it looking young than to reverse some age sneaking up on it.

12. Be more organized. If everything has a “home”, everything will be where you want it to be when you want to find it. Take the time, get organized. Life will be simpler and easy to manage if everything is where is should be.

13. Clean. Clean your room. Clean the kitchen. Clean the bathroom. Clean up after yourself. And do it often. (my apartment isn’t that messy, but I could be more diligent. here’s to trying!)

14. Stay in touch. Call your parents. Call your sister. Call your friends. The boyfriend can wait. Use that phone to actually  CALL people. Make the time. They deserve it. Heck, you deserve it.

15. Follow through. Follow through with this list! Do it. I believe in you. You believe in you. (Same thing, but who is counting?). And if you find yourself in 2016 and you haven’t done all 15 yet … check out number 2 … and try again next year!

So that’s it for now. Not a tall order, right? Right. So here’s to you and your resolutions, proclamations, declarations, or otherwise … may they be easy enough to accomplish, but tough enough to do you some good. Let’s do this, 2015!

Just. Show. Up.

9 Dec

I have neglected this blog for quite some time.  I could rattle off a million excuses, and they’d all be nearly valid.  But none are quite good enough.

And so, instead, I’ll dive right into why I’m back.  I read another post recently (I won’t say blog, because honestly, I’m not sure that’s accurate anymore. So many sites now have a much more robust offering than that word can encompass), that spurred me to action.  It’s message was simply: Just show up.  No matter the thing you want to be doing, or the end goal you’re trying to accomplish, by doing just one thing towards that end everyday, you’ll start something. You’ll accomplish something.  And in a few days, weeks, or years maybe you’ll have accomplished that final thing.  But you can’t be afraid of starting. That’s the trick.  Just show up. Take the first step. Then another. And another.

I’m reminded of one of my favorite Christmas movies, Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Santa sings “Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor…” to the Winter Warlock who needs some help learning to be a better person. And I’ve always loved that movie. And that song, because it’s such a positive thought.  If you can start small, and keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually you’ll reach your goal.

And even if you don’t accomplish the grand plan that you wanted to in the beginning, At least you accomplished the steps along the way.  And those are just as important, if not more.

So in that vain, I’m going to try to come on back to blogging.  Because I miss the writing. I miss the outlet. And I miss working towards something bigger than myself. Hope you’ll join me and just show up today or tomorrow or put on foot in front of the other, until you’ve accomplished something, too.

Giving Thanks!

25 Nov

Now that the most Thanks inducing (in a good way!) of all holidays is over, and I have had time to reflect on what is truly important in my life, I thought it would be nice to finally post something that I had written awhile back about being thankful. So here goes:

It seems that the first half of my twenties have sped by. And I was apparently having too much fun to notice. But I got the chance recently to relive my college years by going through all of my photos from about 2004 until today. I was looking for a few specific ones for a bridal shower present for my sister, and it was so much fun to see the ones I was looking for, but just as fun to see the ones I wasn’t looking for, too!

After several months of being unemployed, there were quite a few things to be sad or depressed about. Seeing those photos and the documentation of the last almost 10 years of my life, reminded me that I have so many things to thankful for. In no particular order, here are just a few: 

  • For five years of college I got to live with/next to/down the street from my best friends. From DZ, to my Boston Family, to my GTHBA.
  • I got FIVE years of college. Lucky on so many levels.
  • My sorority. Most people don’t understand it, but I love my sisters and my letters more fiercely than I ever thought it would be possible to love a group of people and an organization (this word severely understates what my sorority is, but its all I could come up with).
  • My family that has put up with me way longer than anyone else in my life and continues to love and support me daily.
  • The girlfriends I’ve had since high school. There is a very special bond you share with people who knew you before you knew yourself. I love them all dearly.
  • The girlfriends I’ve had since college. These girls saw me at my best and at my worst. And they still love me. And even though we are separated by miles (less now than in recent years), we still find time for each other.
  • Getting to live with more of my best friends post grad, and as I like to say being responsibly irresponsible for almost two years. So many amazing memories.
  • All of my time spent abroad and the people I spent time there with. I’ve gotten to see more European countries than I’ve seen U.S. States. And I can’t wait for my next adventure.
  • You’re going to think that this one is a little out there. But, here goes – my body, as is. It has put up with more criticism than anyone should, and more diets than I care to mention. And yes there were times that I was more proud of it than others, but you know what? It’s healthy, and that counts. I can climb mountains, skip, run, jump, swim, snowboard. I can see beautiful sights and listen to my favorite music. It’s pretty kick-ass, and I don’t give it enough credit.
  • Technology that makes it possible to stay in touch with everyone I love, even if they aren’t right next door anymore.
  • I’m surprised to admit this one, but … ex-boyfriends/dates/suitors/lovers/unrequited loves and general heart breakers. Thankful to have experienced the total agony of heartbreak, and to know what I do not want in a partner.
  • Parents who have been more supportive of me following my dreams, no matter what, than I really ever deserved. They’re amazing and I only hope I make them proud.
  • That I have this outlet to tell you all and remind myself how wonderful my life has been so far. And how much I still have to look forward to. So thank you for listening and reading.

There are so many more things, but I knew I needed to at least start saying thank you to everyone on this list, and those that aren’t. Thank you for making the past 10 years of my life absolutely amazing. I love you all.

Musical Insights

8 May

Last week I attended an information session for MTV here in Boston, the first of its kind.  And while I was mostly going so that I could get my resume into the hands of the right people – hello job hunt! I also found a little extra inspiration. This inspiration came from the President of MTV, Mr. Stephen Friedman, who until this information session, I admittedly knew nothing about. Although I absolutely should have, because he is smart and talented and runs a network I’d be thrilled to work for.  But back to the inspirational bit. I had gone to this meeting expecting to hear about job opportunities and how to apply, and things of that nature, because I figured I knew what MTV was all about. And for the record, I did know. A channel based more on the lifestyle of the millennial than just solely on music, although music is a large part of our lives, so it makes sense that the two are linked.  But what I also got out of Mr. Friedman’s speech? My interests, defined in awesome little phrase nuggets*.

The first thing he said that stuck with me is that my generation, us millennials, are in “A constant Beta version”.  And he’s so amazingly correct.  We’ve seen the advent of the internet. The rise of cell phones. PCs. Laptops. Almost all of the technology that exists was created or perfected in our lifetime. And we’re going to be the ones in charge of dictating how they’re used. We get to decide how content gets to us. How we connect with other people. Where these new technologies will lead us. And I for one think that that is awesome. A self proclaimed social media freak, I can’t get enough of things that didn’t even EXIST when I was born. Heck things that didn’t exist before I went to college (read: Facebook.) Technology is moving at light speed and I’m beyond thrilled to see what we come up with next. Also – the fact that more than just engineers and techie folks know what a beta version is now, is proof in and of itself that things are changing.

The other big thing that struck home with me from his speech? That we should be using “The screen as a megaphone”. Yes, PLEASE.  One of the reasons that I love production so much, is its ability to reach audiences, and connect people in a global way.  You don’t need a translator for an image. They speak a thousand words, as the famous quote says. And so I love the mentality that MTV has for bringing its viewers things they really care about. You can criticize all you want for Jersey Shore and the like, but you can’t say that the channel doesn’t ALSO bring you things of importance. Like promoting the election and encouraging people to vote for the first time. Or providing information on teen pregnancy or depression.  Or, one of Mr. Friedman’s personal campaigns, educating us on the issues in Darfur from the not so distant past.  Yes there is the salacious portion of the channel, but they’ve also found a way to stay engaged in real issues, and connect their viewers to what really matters. So keep right on treating that screen like a megaphone. You have our attention, you might as well use it.

*Please forgive me if these are not verbatim. I was too excited to take detailed notes.

What I took away from this session, besides an even bigger desire to actually work for MTV, was renewed respect for the people that work across the content creation spectrum, because sometimes it seems like they just want to sell me products by selling their ad space. But that’s not always the case, sometimes they really do want to bring you great content, informed content, to either entertain or educate you. And that my friends, is EXACTLY why I want to do what I want to do (work in television/film). Because I think that people deserve great entertainment and great informative programming, and I hope I get to work for someone like Mr. Friedman someday who shares this opinion.

Lending a Helping Hand

16 Feb

I have been unemployed for almost a full two months now. No schedule. No responsibilities. Nothing. For most people, this would be a joyous time, full of relaxation and enjoyment of some much needed time off. For me? It’s been torture. I have spent the past twenty years of my life with a jam packed schedule. As I kid I played every sport I could, I took craft classes, I was a girl scout. If I wasn’t at school, I was doing homework and or one of those many activities I just told you about.  Then there was high school, and college, and grad school. My life has been chock full of THINGS for as long as I can remember. And now. Nothing. People keep telling me to enjoy it, but quite frankly, I was going crazy with all of my free time. So I decided to volunteer.

I’ve been wanting to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity for a really long time now. I love working with my hands, and you already know I love crafts, so I thought “I can totally handle building a house.” And its for a good cause! Unfortunately for me, their individual volunteer days always fell on weekdays, which as I mentioned earlier, were all ready quite full. So I was out of luck. Until. At last! Unemployment has gifted me free weekdays! HOORAY!

So I signed up a few weeks ago, and yesterday I got to go to the build site. And I had the best day of my year so far. And definitely my best day of unemployment. I wish I had signed up two months ago.

When I got to the house, it had been completely gutted. The structure was up – it had been foreclosed on, so the outside of the house itself was okay, it just needed some seriously remodeling inside.  Plus they were taking a one family and turning it into two units. Meaning we got to help not one, but TWO families have a new home. And so our job yesterday was to build the structure for the dry wall so that the walls could be put up! Now I know you’re thinking that that couldn’t have been fun, but let me tell you, it was a blast. I got to use two different types of saws, a nail gun, and hammered more nails than I could count. And at the end of the day, we had put up almost all of the studs (the wood beams behind your walls holding them up – look at me learning new vocab!) for the walls were up. The house was bare when we got there. That feeling of accomplishment was unreal!

The best part of the day though? The people that I met. While I am probably more handy than most of my girl friends (I thank my Dad for that, too), it became  clear to me very early in the day that I was not nearly as handy as I thought. Guys, I couldn’t hammer a nail correctly. It was embarrassing. Although apparently more common than you think. I’m a little embarrassed to admit it took me a solid hour or so, and several tens of bent nails before I got it right. But the people I met yesterday were SO incredibly patient with me, I loved it. The construction manager gave me his hammer because it had a bigger head and was lighter. And at least two supervisors gave me tips on how to swing the thing correctly. And my building buddy for the day (an ex cabinet maker, and hopefully soon to be firefighter!) encouraged me so much, I could’ve cried. Here we were trying to be efficient so that these people can get into their new home, and I could barely do it right.  But everyone was so nice, and encouraging that when I finally got that first nail (and then many many more) hammered into the studs correctly, it felt like the biggest accomplishment of my life.

And the thing is, none of these people are getting paid for their time. They’re volunteers. Building these two deserving families a house. But they cared enough to help me when I needed it, too. I really cannot begin to tell you how happy and accomplished I felt at the end of our build yesterday. But hopefully the photo below will show you a little. This was taken at the end of the day, and its the room we finished studding. Picture this WHOLE area open, none of those wood beams were there, and that’s what we started with. And this is what we finished with. It was amazing.  I really hope I have more time soon to go back and help again, because it really was the best day I’ve had in awhile.

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need.” Rolling Stones

26 Jan

Relationships are tricky. Breakups are even trickier. Especially when they come out of nowhere, or so you think.  The truth is, if it’s a surprise for you, it probably wasn’t a surprise for the other person. They’ve known for a while. Now if they’d only told you sooner, right?? But alas my friends, maybe they did.

This is something that I’ve recently come to realize, all thanks to “The boy who babe’d to soon”. You see for a while things seemed wonderful, then slowly but surely he pulled away. Granted we were several thousand miles away at the time (my fault, not his), but I didn’t think asking for maybe 2 1/2 months was that long to see what we could be once I returned from a cross-country adventure. Apparently though that was NOT on his timeline. And while I was left blindsided, he was already happily (yes he told me so) dating my replacement.  Now I don’t technically consider this a break up because we weren’t officially an item. But it stung nonetheless.

But I digress my dears, because my original point was that he saw it coming, and so should have I. Why? Because this new girl was exactly what he said he wanted. Not in so many words, but the hints were there.

Strike 1? She lived nearby. He hated long distance, so yes okay this one makes sense. Especially since even when I got back home, we’d still be semi-long distance. But I figured a 2 hour car ride would be better than a 5 hour plane ride, right? Wrong. Because again, he didn’t like long distance. Most boys don’t – they’re creatures of convenience and we can’t blame them for that. So okay, this one I get.

Strike 2? She’s from his home town. Which he talked about like it was paved in gold and the only place he ever actually wanted to be. Well shoot, this one makes sense, too right? I can’t change my hometown.

But the nail in the relationship-that-could-have-been’s coffin? Strike 3. She has a child. Which to most men in their mid 20’s would be a red flag. But not to him. Because back on oh I don’t know, date 3, he said “I can’t wait to have kids” which sent my 20-something ovaries (which will one day, in the not so distance future, rejoice at a man saying these words) run screaming up into I’d say my throat.

Now I tell you this lengthy story to prove a point that only time, distance and now complete indifference in the relationship could provide me. I wasn’t what he thought he wanted. Now take that in for a minute. It’s not that I wasn’t wonderful or interesting or attractive, I just wasn’t who he thought he should be dating at this point in his life. He told me what he wanted, and I wasn’t and couldn’t be it.

And that’s okay. Because it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with him. While I don’t pretend to be blameless in every breakup I’ve ever had, sometimes (and it seems a LOT of times with me) there’s nothing you can do if you don’t fit his mold. Try as you might, you can’t change you that drastically. But why would you want to? Eventually you’ll find someone who does want you for you and he won’t lust for something else that he doesn’t have. Because he has what he wants, AND what he thinks he wants, and that is Y-O-U.

Now it took me until very recently to come to this epiphany but it has brought me some much-needed peace about this mini breakup and another, bigger breakup from my past, which has, quite truthfully, haunted me for years. And maybe now I can finally put that and him behind me. Because I wasn’t what he thought he wanted. No matter how loving, caring and committed I was, I wasn’t who he thought he should be with.  And that’s finally okay with me.

Have any of you had a breakup you didn’t see coming? Had an epiphany about it months/years later? How did you cope?

B’s Craft Corner – Pen Cups

19 Jan

It seems to me that I am constantly apologizing for not posting in awhile, but in my defense, this past fall was perhaps the most busy I’ve ever been. Work 4-5 days a week, class 3 nights a week, homework, and trying to get to know a new city on my downtime – whenever that may be. But I have found that I miss it when I don’t write, so I’m going to try to be better about it!

Which brings me to today! And the first ever B’s Craft Corner. I have a passion for crafting. Not sure why, but I think everything is better home made. I have made jewelery, I sew, and more scrapbooks than I care to count. I always say, if I could be Martha Stewart (sans jail time), I would be.

So perhaps a year ago I made a pen/pencil/scissors holder for myself and a friend liked it so much she asked for one. And then recently another friend got a new job, which she loves, and she worked quite hard to get it, so I thought the perfect gift for her would be another one of my handmade pencil holders.  While crafting I thought why not share it with all of you! It’s quite simple, I promise.

What you’ll need:

*a cylinder – I use a crystal light plastic container, either size will do, but the smaller one is easier

*fabric (or wrapping paper)

*hot glue gun (or glue stick if using wrapping paper)

*newspaper/foam to stuff the bottom of the cup if it is too tall

Step one:

Peel off the label on your container, stuff the bottom of the container with newspaper or foam, if your container is too deep to access the pens easily.  Cut your fabric to fit around the container, cut it with at least an inch of extra fabric on each end, you’ll need it later. (sorry this first photo is blurry. I promise I’ll get better at this!)

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Step Two: Put a stripe of hot glue down on the container, place the end of the fabric down on the glue.

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Step Three: Re-cut the end of your fabric so that it matches up to the first end already glued to the cup. If like me, you haven’t quite cut a perfect line in your fabric, you can cut about a centimeter extra of fabric, and fold it underneath to create a straight line.

Step Four: Turn the cup upside down, put hot glue all over the bottom. Fold the fabric down onto the bottom of the cup. The tighter you pull the fabric down to the bottom, the better it will stand up once it’s done.

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Step Five: Turn the cup right side up and hot glue the inside of the cup.  Fold the fabric into the cup like you did with the bottom of the fabric.  I suggest putting glue on about 3/4 of the cup first, so that you can adjust the fabric to fit securely against the inside of the cup, before it is all covered in glue.

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Step Six: Enjoy! I like to keep a nail file in my cup at work, you never know when a hangnail will hit!

Or if you’re feeling extra crafty, you can add an initial to the front, like I added to this magnet I made as well.  It’s iron on, so it’s pretty simple! Although I suggest ironing it onto the fabric first, as you might melt the container if you do it after.

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Hopefully I’ll have more things to share with you that I’ve crafted in the near future, and like I said, I promise to get better at the taking photos of it along the way!

Going to the Chapel and We’re Gonna Get Married – The Shirelles

7 Sep

I had the absolute pleasure of attending two of my very good friends wedding this past weekend. (this post was written a few weeks months ago, just posting now) The groom, a friend from college, the bride, the love of his life, who we got to know just as well throughout our college years. And it just so happened to fall on my 25th Birthday. Ooph. It was a doozy of a day. (although amazingly, incredibly, unbelievably wonderful. I really did have a fabulous time) But realizing that first, I was twenty five. Ew. But then second, that this was the second of three weddings I would be going to this year. And these were friends from college. Didn’t I just graduate? We’re already doing weddings? Well okay, they are lots of fun.

But it was at this point that I realized that I had in fact entered Wedding Season. And no I do not mean those few glorious months of the year in New England, when it is possible to actually have weddings, without fear of snow. I mean the phase in my life, where for the next 10 years, I will probably have multiple weddings per year. Two down this year, one to go. And two more already next summer. One of which I am exceedingly happy to report is my sister’s. And I have been given the high honor of being named her MOH. That is Maid of Honor, for all of you who are not in wedding season, yet.

I can’t complain really, its excuses to celebrate love and good friends, and you get to wear fabulous dresses, eat delicious food and have champagne. Really, its not half bad. But seriously, when did I get THIS old?! When conversations now revolve around ‘how big was the ring?’ ‘Was it an A-Line? A ball gown?’ ‘How was the cake’ ‘ Best gift of the shower?’ Instead of ‘Where did he take you on your first date?’ ‘You got what promotion?’ ‘You paid how much for those gorgeous heels?’. I kind of miss the days when the girls came before the ‘we’.

We all grow up, I get that. And I am so over the moon happy for all of these couples. But is too much to ask for a little slowing down? Or at least, every once in awhile to ask about the parts of our lives that are solely ours and not “ours”? Maybe I’m just not there yet, so I don’t have much to add to those other types of conversations, but I hate to think that just because we get married, we suddenly lose ourselves. I don’t think everyone does, but I guess I’m just nervous that if I don’t have a “we” to discuss, these friends are going to get disinterested. I mean I know I’m doing fabulous adventuresome things, and will continue to do so, we or no we. I just hope all of my girlfriends will, too.

Whether they will or not, remains to be seen, but for now it appears I’ll be donning several expensive dresses a year for the foreseeable future, and while I can’t promise not to be cynical every once in a very great while after I attend them, I can promise to be absolutely supportive of these couples, truly happy that they’ve found their match, and take lots of photos of my fabulous attire and fabulously unmarried self.

That would be me in the purple on the right, and  my three besties from college. We may live miles apart, but its always the same when we’re back together. Maine-NY-Buenos Aires-Boston Los Angeles.

“Until your back here baby” – BBMak

2 Sep

On a recent trip cross country I happened to be on a layover at lunch. Having more than necessary time to kill, I decided to sit in one of the bars and get some food. And can I just let y’all in on a little secret? those are the BEST places to people watch ever.

First there are the older ish men drinking straight whiskey on the rocks. I mean in the middle of the day??

Then the younger girls drinking red wine. At the airport? This is not so classy.

Perhaps the kid on his second vodka red bull in twenty minutes – slow down buddy it’s my even 5 o’clock on the east coast yet!

Or the wait staff – mostly older, slightly dejected, such a strange mix!

Except maybe this one lady with a southern accent calling everyone ma’am and telling them she’ll fix ya up when getting your food – shes adorable.

And who can forget the woman with the crazy eyes who has been told several times that the cell service is spotty going “huh what? Can you hear me now Hun?!” in the business clothes with the laptop who demolished her caesar salad except for the croutons. Yeah that’s going to help.

But perhaps the most interesting thing here? The music selection. It must be satellite radio or something but it sounds like one of my mix CDs from high school (which were amazing back then, by the way) here’s just a taste of what my ears were so joyfully bombarded with. (and that perhaps the business lady with the crazy eyes might’ve been grooving to while scarfing her caesar salad and downing her margarita.)

Irresistible – Jessica Simpson
Baby – Justin Beiber
Sonny Came Home – Shawn Colvin
Back here baby – BBMak

It did also occur to me while writing this that I perhaps look odd to these people, too. But what sounds so weird about a girl in her twenties sitting alone having lunch and okay yes, a beer, surfing her iPhone. Maybe I’m bias, but to me I’m the most normal person in here.

“You be my honeysuckle, I’ll be your honey bee” – Blake Shelton

24 Aug

How soon is too soon? For pet names. I had an experience recently with a guy whom I had just met who was, in all manners of the word, very nice to me. We’d end up spending a whole weekend together in a somewhat coupley fashion and while I have no real complaints, it was a great weekend, there was one mannerism I was a bit surprised by. Within a day of meeting, I was being referred to as babe and hun. Which at the time seemed fine to me. We were alone, had been pretty close most of the night and were still enjoying pretty close quarters at the end of the night. But the next morning I couldn’t help but fixate on it – he’d babe’d me too quickly. Hadn’t he??

On the off chance he were to ever read this I would like to say, at the time I didn’t care and it was definitely not a deal breaker. We were locked into a mini relationship weekend. The type where because two or more groups of friends are being mixed for one reason or another and the two of you happen to hit it off, you get designated an item before even the first few hours are up. Even if you didn’t know eachother previously, because of a shared night or two, you end up an insta-couple. These happen to me far more frequently than real relationships, go figure. More on those later though. But because we’d been paired up at the beginning of a weekends long visit with friends, we more or less appeared to be dating to anyone watching so I can forgive a few couple like advances. The hand holding was nice. The snuggling, also nice. But the pet names gave me cause to pause.

Explaining this to a good friend of mine she made the fabulous point that what usually annoys her about this habit is that she’s nervous they’ve forgotten your name. Which is a legitimate fear, and in that case I suppose to save face from telling me you’ve forgotten my name, by all means, babe me. But if you do remember, I suggest using the pet names sparingly. Save the pleasantries for after at least that second date, or you might have her running for the hills. Or writing a blog post about you. Tomato, toemahtoe.

 

UPDATE: I am still speaking to “the boy who babe’d too soon”. And he actually used it the other day, after a few weeks of not using it and so when he said it the other day, I couldn’t help but smile. And I mean a real genuine smile, not the kind that means that’s he’s done something awkward. It’s been long enough that now the babe makes me happy, not makes me wonder why he’s using it so soon.